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| At Devil's Lake, Wisconsin at the top! |
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| Mosh Bet 18 |
Last summer when I spent 2 weeks at OSRUI my unit took tiyulim, trips, every other week. These are not trips to the museum, these are rock climbing, hiking, biking, and canoeing trips. I went on the rock climbing trip with more than a dozen high school aged chanichim, or campers. These trips take a lot of preparation and planning, which falls on the shoulders of our madrichim, or counselors. Everyone must work together to make it a successful tiyul. We cook together, hike together and of course hang out together. I had a good time. I especially enjoyed hanging with all the campers. We talked about the books they are reading, games they are playing, and how they can get cool stickers for your water bottle. In hindsight, I was pretty anxious for this trip, but in the end, everything turned out great. Without the support of the madrichim and even the chanichim, I am not so sure I would have such a positive outlook on this journey.
As I get ready for the next part in my cancer treatment, I realize there is connection between my camp journey and this new, slightly more medical, journey. Next Tuesday, January 29th I will have surgery. This comes at the halfway point (as best we have planned) of my cancer journey, following 3 rounds of chemotherapy. There’s not a bone in my body that would claim this journey has been easy, but with the support of many people working together, these past few months have been a little more bearable. Just like our madrichim took on the responsibility of planning, many of you, reading this blog today, have taken on the task of cooking meals, sending thoughtful cards, and making sure I get in my walking. In this next, surgical, stage I will have a full hysterectomy and perhaps a bit more.
Someone asked me if I was afraid of what I’m about to go through and the answer is “no.” I am, however, anxious as I look into the future. I am a person who is used to planning, controlling, and then doing some more planning. But as I prepare to let go of some of that, I know, once again, that I will have the support of those who have helped take on various responsibilities over the course of this journey. It will not be easy to just let go, but after talking and conferring with other people who have had this surgery I know that is what I need to do.
What I now know is that I will be in the hospital for 3-7 days and that I will be recovering at home for well, let’s just say, a while. I have known since the beginning that there would be more chemo in my future, but I’m working to accept that I cannot control the chemo plan will take shape. I am planning, however, to be at camp this coming summer, and with the support of my various teams I know I will make a recovery to work with my madrichim, chanichim, and faculty in Kallah Gimmel 2019!
Here are some other things I do know (I have to be in control somehow!):
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| Me in the wig |
I have a wig now and wear it for special occasions, including leading t’filot, services, or going to parties. I can’t imagine it will be that comfortable in the summer in the “natural air conditioning" of 600 Lac La Belle Drive we all love.
I still have some hair, but I am not sure the cold cap is in my future. Even with all the support, it still does not change the fact my head is set to a temperature of 32 degrees for about 7 hours! I will keep you posted.
I continue to work at Lakeside and volunteer for both OSRUI and ARJE and thank everyone who has been so supportive as I make my way through this cancer journey. Not only do I love the work I do, it has been the distraction I need so that my life is more than doctors appointments, tests, and time in that cap.
On Tuesday we will post on our Lotsa helping hands site and will give updates. My whole family thanks everyone for their support and will let you know when I am home and seeing visitors. I know that I have your prayers and good wishes as I go into surgery.
To bring this full circle… When I went rock climbing in the summer I was very happy to get to the summit and even happier to get back to the campsite. Just like I was ready to be off the mountain and back in camp, I will be happy to have the surgery behind me next week and look forward to saying Birkat HaGomel as I enter my journey of recovery. To this, you may ask, ‘what is benching Gomel?
Birkat Hagomel (pronounced beer-KHAT hah-GOH-mel), sometimes known as “benching gomel,” is commonly said after recovering from serious illness but can also be recited in gratitude for completing a dangerous journey.
This blessing for deliverance is typically recited in the presence of a minyan, or prayer quorum, often in the synagogue following the reading of the Torah.
Birkat Hagomel in Hebrew (courtesy of Sefaria)
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה’ אֱלהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעולָם. הַגּומֵל לְחַיָּבִים טובות. שֶׁגְּמָלַנִי כָּל טוב
Birkat Hagomel in Transliteration and English Translation
Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, ha-gomel t’chayavim tovim she-g’malani kol tuv.
Blessed are You, Sovereign of the universe, our God, ruler of the world, who rewards the undeserving with goodness, and who has rewarded me with goodness.
After the recitation of this blessing, the congregation responds:
Mi she-g’malcha kol tuv, hu yi-g’malcha kol tuv selah.
May God who rewarded you with all goodness reward you with all goodness for ever.
We will let you know when we are benching Gomel. Just as your assistance along this medical journey has been indispensable, your prayers along this recovery journey will be just as important.
