Do I love you? Do I WHAT?

Junior Year Abroad 1979 Hebrew University

I love watching musicals! I have watched them on broadway, at our local High School, middle school, camp; you name it. The quintessential musical, Fiddler on the Roof, I have probably seen over 50 times.  It was one of the first musicals my parents took us to see and Tevye was played by Herschel Bernardi.  

All the songs in this production are very recognizable including the dubious love duet song by Tevye and Golde:

Tevye: Do you love me?

Golde: Do I what?

Tevye: Do you love me?

Golde: Do I love you?

With our daughters getting married and this trouble in the town,You're upset. You want out. Go inside. Go lie down.Maybe it's indigestion.

Tevye: Golde, I'm asking you a question. Do you love me?

Golde: You're a fool!

Tevye: I know. But do you love me?

Golde: Do I love you? For twenty-five years, I've washed your clothes,Cooked your meals, cleaned your house, Given you children, milked the cow. After twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?

On March 4th I will turn 60, I have been married 34 and ½ years to Arthur, who will also turn 60 at the end of the month (on March 29). When you get married at age 25 you don’t really think about what will happen at age 59 if you are diagnosed with cancer.  Arthur and I met Junior year abroad  of college at Hebrew University in Jerusalem. He moved to Chicago so I could be near my family and I have to say now, I could not ask for a better partner, husband, father, and friend as we face this next chapter together. Arthur has rearranged his schedule numerous times to be with me at most of my chemo appointments, doctor appointments, procedure appointments and whatever has needed to be done.

He has told me I look good in all my new styles:  my new wig, my new scarves, and even with my shaved head.  I will say that he has been appreciative of all the food you have provided for us whether it came fr, or made sure we could we can eat from a lovely local restaurant.  

Now I can’t say that every day is argument free or without our disagreements, we are married after all.  In fact you can tell how things are going in our family by how many times I am forced to “google” the answer to one of our disagreements.  Occasionally, Arthur will admit he is just trying to make me google answers to our discussions at least once a day.

When I think back my our wedding on September 2nd, 1984, I remember how my professor/Rabbi Nathaniel Stampfer married us in a very traditional service.  I was actually surprised when only Arthur said the Jewish formula of: Harei at mekudeshet li b’taba’at zo k’dat Moshe v’Yisrael ("Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel"). When the bride consents, through her silent acceptance of the gift, a marriage has taken place, even if all other familiar aspects of the wedding are missing.

Vanessa and Arthur September 1984

I was taken off guard when I did not say that exact sentence back to Arthur but instead, Ani L’Dodi V’dodi Li, I am my beloved and beloved is mine.  I am still trying to remember if Rabbi Stampfer asked us if we would love each other through sickness and health. I am pretty sure he said these words to us and I can tell you that if he did not, we have lived out this truth for the past 6 months and feel confident and lucky as we look toward our future.  

Tevye: Then you love me?

Golde: I suppose I do.

Tevye: And I suppose I love you, too.

Together: It doesn't change a thing, but even so,

After thirty five years, it's nice to know

Lital and Cole August 2016

After almost 35 years of marriage, 4 children (one son in law) a fulfilling job and a wonderful life I find myself a very lucky women.  A Jewish greeting to someone who is having a birthday is: Ad Meah V’esrim, (May you live until 120, (the age of Moses) ). I think it is very significant that, for this birthday, if you add Arthur and my age together you get:  Meah V’esrim, 120!

My love Affair with Israel and its outcomes

The Kotel from my parents trip in February 1968

First trip to Israel 1972

My love affair with Israel began in 1972 when I journeyed for the first time with my immediate family.  My parents had been for the first time in February of 1968, six months after the 6 Day War and we were there six months before the Yom Kippur War.  My first trip we visited all of the sites, Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, The Wall, Yad V'Shem and we also went to Bethlehem, Jericho, and Hebron.  We had the requisite camel ride and I came home joined Young Judea and began planning my trip back to Israel.

Government building from 33 years ago, 1979

My trip back was not to be until 1979 when I enrolled in at Hebrew University in Jerusalem for my Junior year abroad and I spent the whole year in Israel and experienced all the Chagim, holidays from the fast day of Tisha B'av in the summer to all of the spring holidays of Yom Hashoah, Yom HaZikaron, Memorial Day and Yom Hatz-maut, Israel Independence day.  In 1979 it was the 32 Years of Israel and I thought it was a big deal.  Today as Israel celebrates its 65th year almost double since my junior year of college it is wonderful to see the changes and some of similarities having just been in Israel.. It was great to be in Israel to celebrate Yom Ha-atzmaut, in 1980 and we saw the celebrations in the street. When you see all of the Israeli flags hanging from windows, hotels, government buildings, stores and just about everyone you feel a part of something bigger. I don't know if there are as many flags in the streets today but I know I still feel a part of something bigger.

All three of my children have visited Israel, two of them on NFTY's EIE 4 month program and one on a special Birthright trip and am so glad that my love of Israel has been passed down another generation.  All three of my "personal" children studied Hebrew at Day school and are lucky enough to have been able to take Hebrew in our public High School.  My "other" children in my school at Lakeside Congregation, where I am the Educator also have the opportunity to learn and live Israel as well as Hebrew.

Lakeside Congregation Pesach 2013

My Hebrew program although based on becoming proficient in reading in our Siddur and leading T'filot for B'nai Mitzvah also has a modern Hebrew language component.  I tell all my parents that their children will not get off the plane in Israel and get directions to their Hotel in Hebrew but they will be able to read simple signs and count to 10 in Hebrew. I hope to give my students a solid base of Hebrew so that they can continue in high school or later in college. 

B'nai Mitzvah Students and Rabbi Serotta

Last week my congregation came home from a very successful trip to Israel with 40 attendees.  We had four B'nai Mitzvah families along with  different members of our congregation.  We stayed all over Israel from Tel Aviv and Jerusalem to Tiberias.  We enjoyed Seder at the Dan Panorama Hotel and participated in Dig For A Day at Beit Guvrin on our last day. I delighted in bringing so many people to Israel, many of them for the first time. They loved Israel, had a very meaningful B'nai Mitzvah at the Kotel near Robinson's Arch experience with their Rabbi and Educator,  I believe they learned more Jewish history and about Israel then we could have packed into a year of adult education classes and I think they are inspired to read more on their own.

As Israel begins to commemorate and celebrate their season of remembrance and celebration I look forward to reading the stories, hearing the songs and delighting in celebrating Yom Ha-atzmaut 2013 - 65 years of Israel.  I can't imagine what my blog article will look like in 2048 when Israel hits 100 and I hit 89 but I hope that I will be here to write about it!
 

 
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