Friday, May 22, 2020

One year is a long time: May 20, 2019 my last Chemo, Anniversary of my Last Chemo


Last Chemo May 20, 2019
The minhag (custom) in the Infusion unit is to ring a large bell three times when you complete your last chemotherapy cancer treatment.  During this time, I had to practice social distancing, avoiding hugs and close contact with others. Who knew I would have to engage in social distancing and self quarantining all over again one year later due to COVID19? 

Most of us have now had some type of experience with sheltering in place, which allows people to have empathy for the type of anxiety those of us who are immunosuppressed feel when going into crowds.  All of us are now on alert in case we get too close to other people when we are doing even the most mundane tasks and errands, including going to the grocery store, getting gas for our car or going to work.  Think about doing these same errands when you are immunosuppressed and your senses go on red alert when someone gets too close to you, and without a mask. It is not an easy task.
At Spertus Leadership Certificate Program in Jan 2020

As for me here is my current health update, I have received an infusion of Avastin every 3 weeks for the past year with very little side effects.  I do feel tired but that could be chalked up to many different things.  These infusions seem to be working and I will take them for the time being.  I am carefully monitored and although they are not chemo, Avastin is still very toxic and my blood levels are checked every time I have an infusion.  But it is now been 12 months to the day with No Evidence of Disease.  My doctor told me that is the platinum standard for those who had ovarian cancer!!

I was so happy to be able to visit my granddaughter, Esme, in Washington DC, when she was born.  I hope to drive back to DC this summer as our summer camp, OSRUI will not be open due to COVID19.  At least last year after months of being in seclusion I looked forward to being at camp for 2 weeks.  I can only begin to imagine how our campers and madrichim must be feeling at this time with no summer camp this year.

As we look to the 2020 Summer of Covid19, rest assured that I will not be physically attending any crowded venues, including Religious events, but that is a topic for my next blog.  Thank you to everyone who has continued to check in on me and for all of your thoughtful words.  We know the Jewish value of Pikuah Nefesh, saving a soul, is like saving the world.  Thank you for staying inside and stopping the spread and saving the world. It is so important to not infect those in our high risk communities of which I am a part. I hope to “see” you soon on zoom, facetime or from at least 6 feet away.

Update: My family surprised me with a beautiful powerpoint and filmed skit for my CancerFreeversary. It was beautiful, moving and filled with humor.  I am truly blessed.



Sunday, April 12, 2020

Dear Granddaughter: First Letter to my first grandchild March 2020/Adar 5780

Dear Grandbaby,
The day you were born was a day I’ll never forget, and I want to tell you about it through my eyes, your Savta. I stayed at your house the night you were born.  When you are old enough to read this by yourself I pray that this world will not be as frightening as it is right now. No one will ever forget that you came into the world during the COVID19 pandemic.  What is a pandemic? I don’t think you will be using wikipedia as your textbook, but by 2025 who knows what the current best practices of education will be. Here we go:
A pandemic is a disease epidemic that has spread across a large region, for instance multiple continents, or worldwide. Wikipedia
I am sure you will have heard the stories from Saba and I, your parents and your whole family about your birth and about this time in history.  I will tell my story. I drove over 700 miles with your Uncle Ethan from Chicago to make sure I would be here for your first day in this world. Cities, and even whole states throughout the country, including Chicago had asked everyone to shelter in their homes.  We stayed at your house, not just to be close to you, your Mom and Dad, but we were afraid to stay in a hotel because it might expose us to the insidious germs of this terrifying disease. We were so glad to be in your house.  
Your Mom, as you know, was very determined to be at home for as long as she could until she had to go to the hospital.  Your Dad, as always, helped to coach, partner and be there for her. She was also lucky to have a wonderful friend and doula who took her step by step to help you be born.  
When your mom and dad went to the hospital, Uncle Ethan and I went back to sleep. Actually, Uncle Ethan was in the basement and didn’t hear your Mom going through labor and never woke up.  During this time of Covid19 we were so blessed to have our doula in the room as well as your Dad. Right after you were born the rules changed and only Dads were allowed in the Labor room.  
On Tuesday morning, March 24 we waited to hear any news and at 5:34 am you were born. You were 7lb 3oz and 19 inches and came home on Thursday.
Things were not normal in Washington DC nor anywhere in this country.  Your Doctor told us Friday that your Saba and Uncle Jonathan could not join us for the Pesach Seder which was in 2 weeks.  You could not see any of your friends for at least ONE MONTH. We sent your dad out for grocery shopping and he wore gloves, a mask that Grandma Carrie made and we tried to cut down our shopping to only a few times a week.  We even ordered your diapers online. Yes really.
We told everyone that we were so happy you were born and we welcomed you into the world and I sent this email out:
Dear Friends and Family,
With great joy and gratitude we want to let you know that we have a new addition to our a family, a Baby Girl.  Baby Girl was born March 24 corresponding to the 28th of Adar at 5:34 am She weighs in at 7lbs 3oz and stands 19 inches tall. Lital and Cole are still in the hospital with baby. Ethan Ron and I have been hunkered down at the house with Maggie (the dog) and Klaus (the cat.)  Arthur and Jonathan will join us before Pesach for Seder.  
Lital and Cole are choosing to reveal her name in the near future.  As soon as WE know the name we will let YOU know the name. Lital and Cole also ask you please do not post on any social media.  We will of course be sending more pictures and news as soon as we can.  
We are all happy for this exciting and positive moment at a much needed time.
With Love and wishes for a sweet, SAFE Pesach and Shabbat Shalom!
Savta Vanessa, Saba Arthur, Jonathan and Ethan Ron Ehrlich
When you came home from the hospital you were the bright spot not just in our day but for all of your friends and relatives from all over the world, from Belgium to Israel and right here in the United States.  Everyone was so happy to hear about your birth in such a dark time.  
We didn’t tell the world your name until the 8th day when Jewish boys and girls get their names. Here is what your Mom and Dad announced about your name.  
Dear Friends and Family,
We are so excited to introduce you to this young one in person, and in more normal times we would have invited you into our home for a baby naming. In a traditional Jewish family this is when the new baby receives their Hebrew name and it is announced publicly for the first time. 

But, as the times go, this baby naming is going to be virtual for now!

Watch this to see us walk you through some of the thought behind this baby's names. 


Then, if you're still looking for more, you can read the explanations below that include details we forgot to include in our slick, highly produced video.

Esme [Ez-May] is a name with origins in Old French, meaning "to esteem" or "to love." We chose this name to honor Lital's grandparents (also known as Bubbie and Zaydie), Evelyn and Eli. Just like this name, we think that this moment in time is one where we need love more than ever.

Lital’s Grandparents Evelyn and Eli, Arthur's parents

 


Harel [Har-El] is a name with Hebrew origins meaning "mountain of God." We chose this name to honor our great grandmothers, who were named Hedy and Hedwig. Harel also has significance for us in our shared love for nature. Nature, and particularly mountains, are a place we often go to escape. Coincidentally, the month after we found out we were expecting Esme we went on an incredible backpacking trip in the North Cascades, hiking up and down some of the most breathtaking mountains we have ever experienced. We hope to be able to share future adventures like that with Esme someday soon. 
 Lital’s Great Grandmother Hetty, Vanessa's Grandmother

  Cole’s Great Grandmother Hedwig
We will keep sharing updates and pictures along her journey. Until you get to meet her in person, stay safe and keep in touch.
Love,
Lital, Cole and Esme 
During Covid19 we have also resorted to using zoom for EVERYTHING, talking to friends and our work meetings. Zoom is a video conferencing platform we have all managed to learn in 2020.  At your first Pesach seder, our Zeder, we zoomed with Saba and Uncle Jonathan in Deerfield and Grandma and Grandpa in Ohio. We can’t wait for your next Seder which we hope will be in person and you can run around and actually find the afikomen.
The rest of your grandparents, Aunt and Uncles, cousins, and all of our friends are now waiting to meet you.  We hope all this will pass soon, but will be patient until we know it is safe for you to venture fully into this beautiful world.  
As I write this I want you to know your mom and dad would love to edit this piece and they are great editors. I think this will have to go without their touch but you know it is from my full heart and I love you with all my might. Although maybe Uncle Ethan helped to clean up some of these sentences. 
Please know I am a cryer, so this blog post/letter comes with tears, tears of joy. I hope to write more letters to your cousins, whenever they appear.
I just can’t leave this without something from our Jewish heritage.  There is a traditional parental blessing which wishes girls to be like Sarah, Rebecca, Leah and Rachel. I found this blessing from the Jewish Reconstructionist tradition  Marcia Falk, a contemporary feminist liturgist offers her own version of this blessing. Instead of wishing that the child be like someone else, this blessing asks that the child be as she is.
To our girl:
   הֲיִי אֲשֶׁר תִּהְיִיEsme
    וַהֲיִי בְּרוּכָה
  בַּאֲשֶׁר תִּהְיִי
Esme Harel, Hayi asher tih'yi vahayi b'rukhah ba'asher tih'yi.
Be who you are — and may you be blessed in all that you are.
We all love you so much,  Your Savta, Vanessa